I have this best friend who used to be my roommate. We should have been roommates this year, but I decided to live in an on-campus house and she decided to be an RA; a mistake for both of us. She is the most amazing person I have ever met. She generously mentors elementary kids while at school and is so committed to it that her mentees come before her schoolwork sometimes :). We play music together and I always feel so much more comfortable playing the piano when I can hear her cello next to me. But possibly my favorite thing to do with her is going on really long walks around town late at night. We just talk and walk and completely lose track of time: once, I think we walked for over four hours. I had to say goodbye to her yesterday knowing that it would be the last time I saw her for almost a year since we are both studying abroad in different countries next year. I am going to miss her so much.
Saying godbye to her made yesterday even worse. It was over 90 degrees in Kalamazoo and very humid. I had to pack all my stuff and fit it into a very small locker on campus. Then I had to say goodbye to people who have really become my family. While I am certainly excited to see my 'real' family again and spend time with my mom and brother and dog, we have a completely different relationship now that I spend over half the year away. It is really my friends at school who are my support system when life becomes overwhelming. I don't know what I am going to do without them.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
It's officially summer!!!
I just finished my last exam for the quarter...cell biology (yuk). Actually, it was the best cell exam I have ever taken. I knew all the pathways and all the definitions and could answer all the questions with sufficient wordiness to finally please (I hope) my human-focused professor (it helped that I actually studied for this one, if only for a few hours). Anyway, now I get to eat pizza and drink beer and listen to a lecture about sea turtles from the chair of the bio department then go bowling with the chem department and finally, one last building blocks celelbration. I guess somewhere in there I will pack :)
Keep an eye out on the news because thanks to my awesome classes this year I am smuggling a live fish and a preserved shark embryo on the plane with me. I have come up with some elaborate plans to avoid capture, ranging from swallowing the fish in a plastic bag to storing him in my water bottle (the latter seems slightly more palatable), but hopefully he will arrive home safely. Mom: don't forget to have a tank waiting for him with 24-hour old water :) I almost conned my professor into giving me a chick to take home that I could raise into a chicken, but once he found out it would have to fly with me to Oregon, he refused. Dang it.
Keep an eye out on the news because thanks to my awesome classes this year I am smuggling a live fish and a preserved shark embryo on the plane with me. I have come up with some elaborate plans to avoid capture, ranging from swallowing the fish in a plastic bag to storing him in my water bottle (the latter seems slightly more palatable), but hopefully he will arrive home safely. Mom: don't forget to have a tank waiting for him with 24-hour old water :) I almost conned my professor into giving me a chick to take home that I could raise into a chicken, but once he found out it would have to fly with me to Oregon, he refused. Dang it.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
In the midst of final exams...
I'm sorry it has been so long since I've last written.
I've had a lot of time for introspection (having changed my major to phys-ed), and I've decided to make a few major life changes. First of all, no more introspection. That's for tree-hugging, barefooted hippies.
Second of all, I have modified my diet. I now only eat heavily processed, chemical-laden foods; I try to stick primarily to rare meat. I feel this is the way to best exert my authority as Lord of the animal domain. (yes I have "readjusted" some of my religious views). My new diet motto, “If it has a face, sear it lightly and serve with ketchup.”
Third of all, I have changed my political affiliation. I have joined the Republican party, though I feel some of their stances are a little too moderate for me. I think that we should spend more on strengthening our military. In particular, I don't think the "nuclear option" should just apply to ending filibusters. I think we should use it to destroy all the countries that harbor people that don't agree with me. Fall-out shmalout.
While I'm at it, there's not nearly enough evidence to support the claims of the so-called "Greenhouse Effect." I've decided to buy a Hummer (I know I don't have much cash, but don't worry, I took out a loan). I think its gas mileage is just perfect. Plus, all the money I give to the oil industry will be used for the good of our economy.
Finally, I have dropped out of school. I have learned that a women learns everything she needs from her father and husband. An education is a waste of money. I devote myself to finding myself a respectable marriage rather than getting a useless education.
You're either with me or against me. Let me know.
I've had a lot of time for introspection (having changed my major to phys-ed), and I've decided to make a few major life changes. First of all, no more introspection. That's for tree-hugging, barefooted hippies.
Second of all, I have modified my diet. I now only eat heavily processed, chemical-laden foods; I try to stick primarily to rare meat. I feel this is the way to best exert my authority as Lord of the animal domain. (yes I have "readjusted" some of my religious views). My new diet motto, “If it has a face, sear it lightly and serve with ketchup.”
Third of all, I have changed my political affiliation. I have joined the Republican party, though I feel some of their stances are a little too moderate for me. I think that we should spend more on strengthening our military. In particular, I don't think the "nuclear option" should just apply to ending filibusters. I think we should use it to destroy all the countries that harbor people that don't agree with me. Fall-out shmalout.
While I'm at it, there's not nearly enough evidence to support the claims of the so-called "Greenhouse Effect." I've decided to buy a Hummer (I know I don't have much cash, but don't worry, I took out a loan). I think its gas mileage is just perfect. Plus, all the money I give to the oil industry will be used for the good of our economy.
Finally, I have dropped out of school. I have learned that a women learns everything she needs from her father and husband. An education is a waste of money. I devote myself to finding myself a respectable marriage rather than getting a useless education.
You're either with me or against me. Let me know.
Monday, April 18, 2005
building blocks, third week
Ahh, the joys of sociology....
On Tuesday, we were finally able to meet with Tom to discuss the agenda for our first meeting. After Monday’s class, Sarah, Sam and I were feeling a little concerned that we had not yet met officially with our residents. Adding to that concern was the fact that we hadn’t met with Tom for over a week, and had no idea what would be happening at the meeting. I typed up a rough draft of an agenda for the meeting before we met Tom and it turned out that Tom had made his own agenda. We spent a long time compromising between the two and figuring out in what order we would discuss each topic we wanted to cover. Tom was keen on Sarah, Sam, and I running the majority of the meeting, so in the end Tom only talked about his job as a supervisor and then explained an outcome based model to organizing a project.
We arrived at the ENA with great anxiety the evening of our meeting. Before we had arrived, Greg had stopped by and explained to Tom that although he would not be able to attend the meeting this week, he was still interested in participating. Someone in his family (we haven’t figured out who, yet) died recently, so Tom gave him the forms we were handing out at the meeting and explained what would be going on. Many people had informed us that they would attend the meeting, but we really didn’t know what to expect. My heart jumped when I saw Amy and John approaching the door. I wasn’t sure if they would end up coming because Amy works so much. I know they had to sacrifice a lot to make the meeting. Soon more families began to arrive, many with their kids, (Sarah saved the day by convincing her friend to baby-sit) and it still wasn’t seven yet. Talking with the families who came, most of them had canceled prior engagements to come to the meeting. It was encouraging that they were already so interested in the program. At 7pm, we had 16 families and the room was packed. We started the meeting by playing a variation of a game we heard about in class on Monday. Before the meeting, we laid masking tape on the floor of the ENA, creating a smaller version of Bellaire Street. We then had all the families line up in the order their homes appeared on the street and introduce themselves, the house they lived in, and one defining characteristic of their home. Finally, Sarah, Sam, Tom, and I reintroduced ourselves, jumping into corners of the room to represent the different corners of the country we come from. It seemed to work, neighbors had to talk to each other a lot to figure out in what order to line up, especially because their were some gaps from households that did not attend the meeting. After everyone sat down again, we passed around cookies and donuts and served drinks. As soon as the food appeared, the room became much louder. Food has amazing powers!
I was in the middle of laying the ground-rules for the meeting (keeping to the agenda, not complaining about neighborhood problems yet, etc) and discussing the purpose of building blocks when Sue’s family and José showed up. I was so excited to see José (who does not speak a lot of English) because I had translated our forms into Spanish for him and the other Hispanic families in the hopes that they would come. He was having trouble understanding everything that was going on in the meeting, so I sat with him and translated things he didn’t understand throughout the rest of the meeting. It was a very interesting experience because I felt removed from the rest of the room, as if José and I were having our own conversation apart from the rest of the meeting. A couple of times when I returned to the front of the room to talk about another topic on the agenda, I had to work really hard to speak in English. I wanted to slip into Spanish. After the meeting, José and I were talking and he asked me if building blocks could help him fix his . I couldn’t understand what he wanted to know if we could fix, so I kept asking him to explain it. It turns out, he was talking about his heater but he was saying ‘heater’ in English and because I was in Spanish mode, I could not figure out what he was trying to say. It took him translating ‘heater’ back into Spanish before I understood what was going on. I told him that we only work on exterior home improvements, and he asked if there were any organizations in town that could help him find the money to buy a new heater. Apparently, his heater doesn’t work at all and he had to survive the entire winter without any heat. It sounds like he needs the whole heating system replaced because his heater, from what I understood, pumps hot water in pipes around the house to raise the temperature. I told him I would look into places that might be able to help him, but I am not really sure where to begin. I am going to go back and visit him and help him fill out the homework we handed out at the meeting.
Although our meeting ended fairly promptly at 8:10, more people than José lingered far longer into the evening. Jane and Sue and Margaret and their families all stayed for over an hour chatting with Tom, Sam, Sarah, and I. Several of them would like help filling out their project estimate forms, and Sarah, Sam and I were more than willing to help them, but Tom suggested that we not so that they won’t rely on us as much. I understand what he is saying, but I think that many of them feel overwhelmed by the ‘homework’ they have to complete, and not all of it is very clear. I think they also are convinced that the stakes are very high: that if they fill out something incorrectly they will be considered ineligible for the program. When Sam visited Miriam on Saturday, she helped her fill out her forms and when I went to talk with Miriam on Sunday, she was immensely appreciative of Sam’s effort because she didn’t know where to begin. She said that it didn’t feel like Sam was doing the work for her, but rather that she was helping her make sense of it all and feel more confident in what she was putting down. I have this gut feeling that many of the other residents are feeling the same way and that we will lose them if we don’t give them any support. So Sarah and I are going to return to the neighborhood Tuesday morning and afternoon to see how things are going.
Sarah and I were planning on visiting with the residents on Sunday afternoon, bringing them cookies and asking how things were going since the meeting. Unfortunately, Sarah had an emergency where she had to go to Chicago and could no longer visit Bellaire Street with me. I was a little hesitant about going by myself for a while. Sarah and I work really well together and I thought that maybe her not being able to come was a sign that I should use the time to study for my cell biology exam on Monday and finish my vertebrate biology homework. I had almost convinced myself not to go when I remembered how wonderful it felt to have so many people come to our meeting. I think a large part of why they all came had to do with our efforts door-knocking and I didn’t want to leave them without any support until Tuesday. So, I stuffed cookies in my bike bag and headed toward Edison. I had four hours until my SI session so I figured I would be able to check in with most of the residents. I especially wanted to talk with the few families that weren’t able to come to the meeting to see what happened.
I thought it would be no different being in the neighborhood by myself, but the truth is that when I got there, I was really nervous. I walked up and down Reed Court, a street perpendicular to Bellaire Street, before I got the courage to knock on the first door. I talked with Tomin and Joe first. They are a Caucasian middle-aged couple who live in the house closest to the creek. Sam talked with them previously, but I had never met them. They explained that they had every intention of coming to the meeting, but that they lost track of time and at 7:30 realized they were supposed to be at the meeting. They promised they would come to the one this week and I made arrangements to drop off the forms they would need early Tuesday morning. I was feeling a little more confident after talking with them. Next, I knocked on Miriam’s door. Miriam also has a good relationship with Sam already, so I had to remind her who I was. She immediately invited me in to her home to chat, exclaiming what a wonderful visit she had with Sam the day before. I walked in, expecting to be there for no more than a few minutes, when she asked me if I would like a cup of tea. I said sure and we sat at her kitchen table with Raggedy Ann mugs of white tea and my cookies and began to talk. The first thing she told me about was her cat, Freckles, because I noticed the cat food in her kitchen. Freckles is eleven years old and hates it when Miriam reads the newspaper because she has to take a break from petting him. He is orange and white with black spots on his nose, but didn’t appear until right before I had to leave. Miriam was very impressed because usually he never comes out to meet visitors. Apparently, Miriam started keeping cats because her daughter liked them as a child, but Miriam is much more partial to dogs. Nevertheless, she sustains a small pack of neighborhood cats by leaving food out for them on the back porch. We had a lengthy discussion about the travesty of stray cats and dogs and whether it is better to feed them or let them starve. I asked her a little more about her daughter. She is 50 and lives in Lansing. She has been married twice, something that Miriam seems conflicted about: although because of her religious background, she thinks that people should stay together, she is impressed that her daughter had enough courage to survive on her own. Her daughter is an artist who draws beautiful pictures, mainly of science fiction characters (she showed me lots of photos of the artwork). She also has a son, who had two children. Her granddaughter is a freshman at a college in Wisconsin and wanted to be a marine biologist until she failed freshman biology. Her grandson goes to college part time and is engaged to a pre-veterinary student at MSU. Miriam’s son’s family comes to visit her each Christmas, which is one of her favorite times of year. Miriam didn’t have a very good relationship with her husband. They had very different interests and priorities, but they “stuck together because they didn’t have any other choice”. She almost seemed jealous of her daughter’s ability to leave her husbands. Miriam’s husband was an architectural draftsman who worked a consulting firm in Kalamazoo. Their favorite thing to do was take road trips around the country. Miriam told me of one trip when they were stuck at a national park in the Appalacian mountains and had to take everything out of their station wagon and sleep in the car, which Miriam described as “a coffin that smelled like burlap”. (They had to keep burlap in the windows so their cat wouldn’t escape).
Miriam has lived in her home on Bellaire Street since she was 19 years old (that was 60 years ago). And although she never thought she would stay in one place for so long, she couldn’t dream of leaving her home now, even though her son and daughter are pressuring her to buy an apartment. Her home was recently the victim of an attempted break-in, which concerned her a lot. Freckles helps her to be brave, though. She spends a lot of time with her sister, who lives in Kalamazoo and is also a widow, and in her spare time she really likes to read mysteries. Not scary mysteries, though. She likes Agatha Christy because she remains separated from the story line. When she was explaining how scared she gets, she exclaimed, “I’m 79 years old and I still can’t watch Bambi, for God’s sake!”
When Miriam was pointing out another drawing by her daughter, I happened to see the clock on her wall. I had been talking with her for over three hours and had completely missed the SI session I was supposed to run that evening. I eventually found a way to excuse myself, telling her that I had to run to a meeting. I still don’t know where the time went. I got back to my room just as the sun was setting. I hadn’t accomplished anything that I had originally set out to do, but I felt like my visit to Edison was fruitful nonetheless. I had to quickly send out an e-mail to my chemistry class with the SI worksheet and an apology for missing the session. Fortunately, they were very understanding today in class. Upon reflecting on my visit with Miriam, I became concerned that Sam would be worried that I was competing for her unique relationship with Miriam. So, I sent her an e-mail as well, explaining what I accomplished (and what I didn’t) in the neighborhood and I hope when I talk with her tonight she will be okay with that.
On Tuesday, we were finally able to meet with Tom to discuss the agenda for our first meeting. After Monday’s class, Sarah, Sam and I were feeling a little concerned that we had not yet met officially with our residents. Adding to that concern was the fact that we hadn’t met with Tom for over a week, and had no idea what would be happening at the meeting. I typed up a rough draft of an agenda for the meeting before we met Tom and it turned out that Tom had made his own agenda. We spent a long time compromising between the two and figuring out in what order we would discuss each topic we wanted to cover. Tom was keen on Sarah, Sam, and I running the majority of the meeting, so in the end Tom only talked about his job as a supervisor and then explained an outcome based model to organizing a project.
We arrived at the ENA with great anxiety the evening of our meeting. Before we had arrived, Greg had stopped by and explained to Tom that although he would not be able to attend the meeting this week, he was still interested in participating. Someone in his family (we haven’t figured out who, yet) died recently, so Tom gave him the forms we were handing out at the meeting and explained what would be going on. Many people had informed us that they would attend the meeting, but we really didn’t know what to expect. My heart jumped when I saw Amy and John approaching the door. I wasn’t sure if they would end up coming because Amy works so much. I know they had to sacrifice a lot to make the meeting. Soon more families began to arrive, many with their kids, (Sarah saved the day by convincing her friend to baby-sit) and it still wasn’t seven yet. Talking with the families who came, most of them had canceled prior engagements to come to the meeting. It was encouraging that they were already so interested in the program. At 7pm, we had 16 families and the room was packed. We started the meeting by playing a variation of a game we heard about in class on Monday. Before the meeting, we laid masking tape on the floor of the ENA, creating a smaller version of Bellaire Street. We then had all the families line up in the order their homes appeared on the street and introduce themselves, the house they lived in, and one defining characteristic of their home. Finally, Sarah, Sam, Tom, and I reintroduced ourselves, jumping into corners of the room to represent the different corners of the country we come from. It seemed to work, neighbors had to talk to each other a lot to figure out in what order to line up, especially because their were some gaps from households that did not attend the meeting. After everyone sat down again, we passed around cookies and donuts and served drinks. As soon as the food appeared, the room became much louder. Food has amazing powers!
I was in the middle of laying the ground-rules for the meeting (keeping to the agenda, not complaining about neighborhood problems yet, etc) and discussing the purpose of building blocks when Sue’s family and José showed up. I was so excited to see José (who does not speak a lot of English) because I had translated our forms into Spanish for him and the other Hispanic families in the hopes that they would come. He was having trouble understanding everything that was going on in the meeting, so I sat with him and translated things he didn’t understand throughout the rest of the meeting. It was a very interesting experience because I felt removed from the rest of the room, as if José and I were having our own conversation apart from the rest of the meeting. A couple of times when I returned to the front of the room to talk about another topic on the agenda, I had to work really hard to speak in English. I wanted to slip into Spanish. After the meeting, José and I were talking and he asked me if building blocks could help him fix his . I couldn’t understand what he wanted to know if we could fix, so I kept asking him to explain it. It turns out, he was talking about his heater but he was saying ‘heater’ in English and because I was in Spanish mode, I could not figure out what he was trying to say. It took him translating ‘heater’ back into Spanish before I understood what was going on. I told him that we only work on exterior home improvements, and he asked if there were any organizations in town that could help him find the money to buy a new heater. Apparently, his heater doesn’t work at all and he had to survive the entire winter without any heat. It sounds like he needs the whole heating system replaced because his heater, from what I understood, pumps hot water in pipes around the house to raise the temperature. I told him I would look into places that might be able to help him, but I am not really sure where to begin. I am going to go back and visit him and help him fill out the homework we handed out at the meeting.
Although our meeting ended fairly promptly at 8:10, more people than José lingered far longer into the evening. Jane and Sue and Margaret and their families all stayed for over an hour chatting with Tom, Sam, Sarah, and I. Several of them would like help filling out their project estimate forms, and Sarah, Sam and I were more than willing to help them, but Tom suggested that we not so that they won’t rely on us as much. I understand what he is saying, but I think that many of them feel overwhelmed by the ‘homework’ they have to complete, and not all of it is very clear. I think they also are convinced that the stakes are very high: that if they fill out something incorrectly they will be considered ineligible for the program. When Sam visited Miriam on Saturday, she helped her fill out her forms and when I went to talk with Miriam on Sunday, she was immensely appreciative of Sam’s effort because she didn’t know where to begin. She said that it didn’t feel like Sam was doing the work for her, but rather that she was helping her make sense of it all and feel more confident in what she was putting down. I have this gut feeling that many of the other residents are feeling the same way and that we will lose them if we don’t give them any support. So Sarah and I are going to return to the neighborhood Tuesday morning and afternoon to see how things are going.
Sarah and I were planning on visiting with the residents on Sunday afternoon, bringing them cookies and asking how things were going since the meeting. Unfortunately, Sarah had an emergency where she had to go to Chicago and could no longer visit Bellaire Street with me. I was a little hesitant about going by myself for a while. Sarah and I work really well together and I thought that maybe her not being able to come was a sign that I should use the time to study for my cell biology exam on Monday and finish my vertebrate biology homework. I had almost convinced myself not to go when I remembered how wonderful it felt to have so many people come to our meeting. I think a large part of why they all came had to do with our efforts door-knocking and I didn’t want to leave them without any support until Tuesday. So, I stuffed cookies in my bike bag and headed toward Edison. I had four hours until my SI session so I figured I would be able to check in with most of the residents. I especially wanted to talk with the few families that weren’t able to come to the meeting to see what happened.
I thought it would be no different being in the neighborhood by myself, but the truth is that when I got there, I was really nervous. I walked up and down Reed Court, a street perpendicular to Bellaire Street, before I got the courage to knock on the first door. I talked with Tomin and Joe first. They are a Caucasian middle-aged couple who live in the house closest to the creek. Sam talked with them previously, but I had never met them. They explained that they had every intention of coming to the meeting, but that they lost track of time and at 7:30 realized they were supposed to be at the meeting. They promised they would come to the one this week and I made arrangements to drop off the forms they would need early Tuesday morning. I was feeling a little more confident after talking with them. Next, I knocked on Miriam’s door. Miriam also has a good relationship with Sam already, so I had to remind her who I was. She immediately invited me in to her home to chat, exclaiming what a wonderful visit she had with Sam the day before. I walked in, expecting to be there for no more than a few minutes, when she asked me if I would like a cup of tea. I said sure and we sat at her kitchen table with Raggedy Ann mugs of white tea and my cookies and began to talk. The first thing she told me about was her cat, Freckles, because I noticed the cat food in her kitchen. Freckles is eleven years old and hates it when Miriam reads the newspaper because she has to take a break from petting him. He is orange and white with black spots on his nose, but didn’t appear until right before I had to leave. Miriam was very impressed because usually he never comes out to meet visitors. Apparently, Miriam started keeping cats because her daughter liked them as a child, but Miriam is much more partial to dogs. Nevertheless, she sustains a small pack of neighborhood cats by leaving food out for them on the back porch. We had a lengthy discussion about the travesty of stray cats and dogs and whether it is better to feed them or let them starve. I asked her a little more about her daughter. She is 50 and lives in Lansing. She has been married twice, something that Miriam seems conflicted about: although because of her religious background, she thinks that people should stay together, she is impressed that her daughter had enough courage to survive on her own. Her daughter is an artist who draws beautiful pictures, mainly of science fiction characters (she showed me lots of photos of the artwork). She also has a son, who had two children. Her granddaughter is a freshman at a college in Wisconsin and wanted to be a marine biologist until she failed freshman biology. Her grandson goes to college part time and is engaged to a pre-veterinary student at MSU. Miriam’s son’s family comes to visit her each Christmas, which is one of her favorite times of year. Miriam didn’t have a very good relationship with her husband. They had very different interests and priorities, but they “stuck together because they didn’t have any other choice”. She almost seemed jealous of her daughter’s ability to leave her husbands. Miriam’s husband was an architectural draftsman who worked a consulting firm in Kalamazoo. Their favorite thing to do was take road trips around the country. Miriam told me of one trip when they were stuck at a national park in the Appalacian mountains and had to take everything out of their station wagon and sleep in the car, which Miriam described as “a coffin that smelled like burlap”. (They had to keep burlap in the windows so their cat wouldn’t escape).
Miriam has lived in her home on Bellaire Street since she was 19 years old (that was 60 years ago). And although she never thought she would stay in one place for so long, she couldn’t dream of leaving her home now, even though her son and daughter are pressuring her to buy an apartment. Her home was recently the victim of an attempted break-in, which concerned her a lot. Freckles helps her to be brave, though. She spends a lot of time with her sister, who lives in Kalamazoo and is also a widow, and in her spare time she really likes to read mysteries. Not scary mysteries, though. She likes Agatha Christy because she remains separated from the story line. When she was explaining how scared she gets, she exclaimed, “I’m 79 years old and I still can’t watch Bambi, for God’s sake!”
When Miriam was pointing out another drawing by her daughter, I happened to see the clock on her wall. I had been talking with her for over three hours and had completely missed the SI session I was supposed to run that evening. I eventually found a way to excuse myself, telling her that I had to run to a meeting. I still don’t know where the time went. I got back to my room just as the sun was setting. I hadn’t accomplished anything that I had originally set out to do, but I felt like my visit to Edison was fruitful nonetheless. I had to quickly send out an e-mail to my chemistry class with the SI worksheet and an apology for missing the session. Fortunately, they were very understanding today in class. Upon reflecting on my visit with Miriam, I became concerned that Sam would be worried that I was competing for her unique relationship with Miriam. So, I sent her an e-mail as well, explaining what I accomplished (and what I didn’t) in the neighborhood and I hope when I talk with her tonight she will be okay with that.
breaking up is hard to do...
On Saturday night, I broke up with my 'boyfriend' of a few months. I had been being very unfair to him because I am so busy I never had any time to hang out with him. And school was definitely my top priority, then work, then supporting some of my closest friends and then if I had free time I would hang out with him. It must have been pretty frustrating for him. He would stop by and I couldn't even stop typing my essay that would be due the next day because I literally get up at 5am and start studying and preparing for the day, then finally stop studying around 11pm and read for an hour before I go to sleep. I wasn't in love with him, either. He was very romantic, but it got quite annoying after a while. I guess my mom has ruined me for all that stuff :) I hate it when guys hold the door open for me and make me go in before me. And in a strange twist, I have discovered that I don't really like being told that I am beautiful because that is not who I want to be. I want to be seen as an intelligent, passionate person who is concerned about other people, not her looks. Anyway, despite all this, it is still difficult to break up with someone. On the upside, we had one of the most fruitful discussions ever afterwards.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
building blocks, second week
sorry for the delay, here is what has been going on with building blocks. We have our first formal meeting with the residents tonight, so wish me luck :). I will write about it soon.
Since we decided to wait a week to hold our first meeting, early this week Sarah, Sam and I were back to door-knocking. We headed to Bellaire Street around 10 am on Tuesday, hoping to get in contact with several people we still had not met. Unfortunately, we did not meet anyone we hadn’t already talked with. As we were heading back to the car, Sam and I decided to try knocking on Mary’s door again. Mary, a middle-aged Hispanic, was in the middle of dinner when we knocked on her door last week and was not happy to be interrupted. We thought that since she has a young son, Javier, she would be up at 10 am. This assumption was further carried by the muted cries of a toddler emerging from the house. Although I was hesitant to interrupt Mary when she was trying to calm Javier, Sam thought that his would be one of our only times to talk with her so we knocked on the door. There was no answer. I knocked again, louder. Still no answer. As we were walking away from Mary’s home, Sam noticed a side door and knocked on it. No one answered. Confused and frustrated, we continued toward Sarah’s car, but a couple of seconds later, the side door to Mary’s home opened. Our assumptions were wrong. We had awoken Mary and again tried to talk with her at a very inopportune time. She asked us to come back another time.
As we walked up the second block on Bellaire Street, we noticed a woman sitting on her front porch. Sarah had already talked with her husband and he had sounded somewhat interested. We decided this would not only be a good opportunity to remind her about the meeting, but also for her to meet Sam and I (one of the downsides to the way we approached door-knocking is that half of Bellaire Street is very familiar with Sam and me and the other half is very familiar with Sarah). The woman, a Caucasian in her mid-50’s, introduced herself as Suzanne and to our surprise had seen the flier on the kitchen counter and was very excited about coming to our first meeting. She was watching her grandchildren for Spring Break but ushered us into her backyard to show us her ornamental grasses. The first thing that I noticed about Suzanne was how willing she was to share things with people. Not only did she immediately show complete strangers the garden she took so much pride in, but she soon started asking us if we would like some of her hostas or ebony mambo grass. If not, she suggested that she could donate some to the other neighbors participating in Building Blocks. Her garden was beautiful; the entire back yard had been transformed into a haven overflowing with last summer’s remnants of grasses, tomatoes, and flowers. Overhead, wind chimes and bird feeders crisscrossed on twine strung between her house and the trees. Stone paths wound throughout and there was a prominent strawberry patch that Suzanne was quite proud of. We continued to chat with her while her grandchildren chased each other with super-soakers and soon delved into deeper conversation.
Suzanne, like many Bellaire Street residents, works third shift and has been working at the same factory for around 25 years. She works in manufacturing and is very keen that she is working in a ‘man’s world’. She has apparently been in training for shift manager for a very long time but never actually gets promoted, to her frustration. Her husband injured his back in his previous manufacturing job and so is now unable to work. I think that Suzanne is very proud of the fact that she is now supporting her and her husband on her income. A couple of years ago, Suzanne decided to get her GED. She recounted for us how wonderful it was when she realized she “was the smart one”, not her husband and the he really couldn’t push her around anymore. It seems like Suzanne’s relationship with her husband has changed a lot over the years, from him basically supporting her and she in turn fulfilling a traditional role of housewife, to Suzanne entirely supporting him with an amazingly strong sense of self.
As we turned the conversation back to building blocks, Suzanne began to tell her who, from her perspective, would participate. She first talked about some of the homeowners. Especially those who like her had lived in the neighborhood for a long time. She stressed how they wanted to take care of their homes, although sometimes there was not enough money to do it properly. When we told her of some of the other people who had shown interest in the program, she seemed surprised. “But they’re renters”, she claimed. “They don’t care about their homes.” We gently suggested that just because they are renters doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to upkeep their homes and Suzanne agreed that she liked Sophie Perez, a renter across the street. Sophie is a single mom and often uses Suzanne for support and advice. I think Suzanne enjoys helping Sophie because she wants Sophie to survive as a strong, self-sufficient woman. Suzanne, however, was initially not interested in meeting the renters next door to her. “They don’t care about their home,” she said, “and they keep me up playing loud music all the time.” We told her that in fact they were interested in the program, too and that maybe this would be a good opportunity for Suzanne to talk with them, get to know them better and let them know that their music bothers her. “Yeah, I will show them the wrath of Suzanne,” Suzanne responded. Yikes! That was not quite what I had in mind. I think we will have to carefully watch how Suzanne interacts with some of the renters. She is very clear and upfront and I think could upset some of her neighbors with her preconceptions of them.
Thursday afternoon, Sam and I returned to Bellaire Street to try and catch up with some people we were unable to meet on Tuesday. To our surprise, our visit was very successful. We thought that since we got there around 6 pm everyone would be eating dinner and that we would be interrupting them. However, we met Greg’s wife, Sue’s daughter, Amy’s husband, and Chris Briggs. We had never met Greg or his wife because they were apparently on vacation in Cancun. Sally, his wife, had received our flier as well as talked with May Willie and was quite excited about the first meeting. Both Sally and Greg are African American, pTomably in their mid-40’s, and have two teenage children. When Sam first spoke with Sue (a young African American single mom), she barely opened the door; she seemed very frightened. We spoke with her teenage daughter on Thursday, who was babysitting her brothers and sisters. She seemed like a very responsible person for being so young. She often takes care of her siblings and is very involved in running her home. She and her mom had been whether or not to participate in Building Blocks over dinner. She promised us she would try and convince her mom to come to our meeting. Amy (Caucasian, mid-30’s) was initially very tentative about participating because she works 3rd shift and was concerned about the time commitment but her husband, John (Caucasian, mid-30’s), had seen the flier on the table and was very excited about coming to the meeting. Chris Briggs, an middle aged African American with two teenage children and married to a Caucasian woman, was very excited about the first meeting. He mentioned several times how he and the neighbors across the street were planning on coming together. It was exciting to see neighbors pressuring each other to get involved. He also initially said that he knew all his neighbors really well because of his kids. Chris lives on the side of Bellaire Street closest to the stream and when we mentioned Andrew and some other kids who lived on the other block, asking if his kids played with them, Chris quickly retorted, “no. We don’t really associate with the people up there. We stick to our own street and they stick to theirs.” I hadn’t really noticed before, but there did seem to be a distinct separation between the two blocks. The kids who knew each other so well and constantly played outside on one block never ventured to the next block. I hadn’t ever seen kids on Chris’s block (except Elizabeth’s). I think that one of our big tasks will be joining these two blocks together more, especially when it comes to working on houses. I think there might be a tendency for people to work only on homes on their own block; both due to this separation and that those houses will be physically closer.
Despite our successful attempts at door-knocking this week, some frustrating things happened, too. I am the coordinator of donations, so I asked several bakeries if they would be willing to donate day-old baked goods to our first meeting. I was unilaterally disappointed. The first store I went to was Kleins, since I know they donate their bagels to Kalamazoo College and have donated to Building Blocks in the past. The manager there that day said that in fact they now donate only to children’s charities and Loaves and Fishes. I think I should go back and talk with a different manager, but it was nevertheless disappointing. I felt like he wasn’t being completely honest with me. I also tried to solicit donations from Panera Bread, since I heard they were also very generous to Building Blocks in the past. There, the manager was very helpful, but said that I would need to contact their corporate headquarters and that the requests could take up to eight weeks. I was talking to my roommate, Jess Walsh, about my frustrations and she suggested that I draft a letter on Edison Neighborhood Association letterhead and get Tom and Pat and maybe ever Terry to sign it. I think that was a really good suggestion, because by myself I really have no credibility so I can see why companies would be wary of agreeing to donations without any proof that I am representing a non-profit organization.
The last rather frustration part of the week was Tom canceling our meeting where we were going to form an agenda for our first meeting. He told us he would e-mail us if he couldn’t make the meeting, but no one had received anything from him yet. About an hour before we were supposed to meet, I tried to call Sam to remind her about the meeting and set up another time to go door-knocking. I accidentally dialed Tom’s number instead and after I realized I was not in fact talking to Sam, he told me that he would have to cancel the meeting. He was very apologetic and I completely understand that he has a really busy schedule, too. I just wish he had let us know a little earlier. I don’t know when he would have told us if I hadn’t misdialed Sam’s phone number and reached him, instead.
Since we decided to wait a week to hold our first meeting, early this week Sarah, Sam and I were back to door-knocking. We headed to Bellaire Street around 10 am on Tuesday, hoping to get in contact with several people we still had not met. Unfortunately, we did not meet anyone we hadn’t already talked with. As we were heading back to the car, Sam and I decided to try knocking on Mary’s door again. Mary, a middle-aged Hispanic, was in the middle of dinner when we knocked on her door last week and was not happy to be interrupted. We thought that since she has a young son, Javier, she would be up at 10 am. This assumption was further carried by the muted cries of a toddler emerging from the house. Although I was hesitant to interrupt Mary when she was trying to calm Javier, Sam thought that his would be one of our only times to talk with her so we knocked on the door. There was no answer. I knocked again, louder. Still no answer. As we were walking away from Mary’s home, Sam noticed a side door and knocked on it. No one answered. Confused and frustrated, we continued toward Sarah’s car, but a couple of seconds later, the side door to Mary’s home opened. Our assumptions were wrong. We had awoken Mary and again tried to talk with her at a very inopportune time. She asked us to come back another time.
As we walked up the second block on Bellaire Street, we noticed a woman sitting on her front porch. Sarah had already talked with her husband and he had sounded somewhat interested. We decided this would not only be a good opportunity to remind her about the meeting, but also for her to meet Sam and I (one of the downsides to the way we approached door-knocking is that half of Bellaire Street is very familiar with Sam and me and the other half is very familiar with Sarah). The woman, a Caucasian in her mid-50’s, introduced herself as Suzanne and to our surprise had seen the flier on the kitchen counter and was very excited about coming to our first meeting. She was watching her grandchildren for Spring Break but ushered us into her backyard to show us her ornamental grasses. The first thing that I noticed about Suzanne was how willing she was to share things with people. Not only did she immediately show complete strangers the garden she took so much pride in, but she soon started asking us if we would like some of her hostas or ebony mambo grass. If not, she suggested that she could donate some to the other neighbors participating in Building Blocks. Her garden was beautiful; the entire back yard had been transformed into a haven overflowing with last summer’s remnants of grasses, tomatoes, and flowers. Overhead, wind chimes and bird feeders crisscrossed on twine strung between her house and the trees. Stone paths wound throughout and there was a prominent strawberry patch that Suzanne was quite proud of. We continued to chat with her while her grandchildren chased each other with super-soakers and soon delved into deeper conversation.
Suzanne, like many Bellaire Street residents, works third shift and has been working at the same factory for around 25 years. She works in manufacturing and is very keen that she is working in a ‘man’s world’. She has apparently been in training for shift manager for a very long time but never actually gets promoted, to her frustration. Her husband injured his back in his previous manufacturing job and so is now unable to work. I think that Suzanne is very proud of the fact that she is now supporting her and her husband on her income. A couple of years ago, Suzanne decided to get her GED. She recounted for us how wonderful it was when she realized she “was the smart one”, not her husband and the he really couldn’t push her around anymore. It seems like Suzanne’s relationship with her husband has changed a lot over the years, from him basically supporting her and she in turn fulfilling a traditional role of housewife, to Suzanne entirely supporting him with an amazingly strong sense of self.
As we turned the conversation back to building blocks, Suzanne began to tell her who, from her perspective, would participate. She first talked about some of the homeowners. Especially those who like her had lived in the neighborhood for a long time. She stressed how they wanted to take care of their homes, although sometimes there was not enough money to do it properly. When we told her of some of the other people who had shown interest in the program, she seemed surprised. “But they’re renters”, she claimed. “They don’t care about their homes.” We gently suggested that just because they are renters doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to upkeep their homes and Suzanne agreed that she liked Sophie Perez, a renter across the street. Sophie is a single mom and often uses Suzanne for support and advice. I think Suzanne enjoys helping Sophie because she wants Sophie to survive as a strong, self-sufficient woman. Suzanne, however, was initially not interested in meeting the renters next door to her. “They don’t care about their home,” she said, “and they keep me up playing loud music all the time.” We told her that in fact they were interested in the program, too and that maybe this would be a good opportunity for Suzanne to talk with them, get to know them better and let them know that their music bothers her. “Yeah, I will show them the wrath of Suzanne,” Suzanne responded. Yikes! That was not quite what I had in mind. I think we will have to carefully watch how Suzanne interacts with some of the renters. She is very clear and upfront and I think could upset some of her neighbors with her preconceptions of them.
Thursday afternoon, Sam and I returned to Bellaire Street to try and catch up with some people we were unable to meet on Tuesday. To our surprise, our visit was very successful. We thought that since we got there around 6 pm everyone would be eating dinner and that we would be interrupting them. However, we met Greg’s wife, Sue’s daughter, Amy’s husband, and Chris Briggs. We had never met Greg or his wife because they were apparently on vacation in Cancun. Sally, his wife, had received our flier as well as talked with May Willie and was quite excited about the first meeting. Both Sally and Greg are African American, pTomably in their mid-40’s, and have two teenage children. When Sam first spoke with Sue (a young African American single mom), she barely opened the door; she seemed very frightened. We spoke with her teenage daughter on Thursday, who was babysitting her brothers and sisters. She seemed like a very responsible person for being so young. She often takes care of her siblings and is very involved in running her home. She and her mom had been whether or not to participate in Building Blocks over dinner. She promised us she would try and convince her mom to come to our meeting. Amy (Caucasian, mid-30’s) was initially very tentative about participating because she works 3rd shift and was concerned about the time commitment but her husband, John (Caucasian, mid-30’s), had seen the flier on the table and was very excited about coming to the meeting. Chris Briggs, an middle aged African American with two teenage children and married to a Caucasian woman, was very excited about the first meeting. He mentioned several times how he and the neighbors across the street were planning on coming together. It was exciting to see neighbors pressuring each other to get involved. He also initially said that he knew all his neighbors really well because of his kids. Chris lives on the side of Bellaire Street closest to the stream and when we mentioned Andrew and some other kids who lived on the other block, asking if his kids played with them, Chris quickly retorted, “no. We don’t really associate with the people up there. We stick to our own street and they stick to theirs.” I hadn’t really noticed before, but there did seem to be a distinct separation between the two blocks. The kids who knew each other so well and constantly played outside on one block never ventured to the next block. I hadn’t ever seen kids on Chris’s block (except Elizabeth’s). I think that one of our big tasks will be joining these two blocks together more, especially when it comes to working on houses. I think there might be a tendency for people to work only on homes on their own block; both due to this separation and that those houses will be physically closer.
Despite our successful attempts at door-knocking this week, some frustrating things happened, too. I am the coordinator of donations, so I asked several bakeries if they would be willing to donate day-old baked goods to our first meeting. I was unilaterally disappointed. The first store I went to was Kleins, since I know they donate their bagels to Kalamazoo College and have donated to Building Blocks in the past. The manager there that day said that in fact they now donate only to children’s charities and Loaves and Fishes. I think I should go back and talk with a different manager, but it was nevertheless disappointing. I felt like he wasn’t being completely honest with me. I also tried to solicit donations from Panera Bread, since I heard they were also very generous to Building Blocks in the past. There, the manager was very helpful, but said that I would need to contact their corporate headquarters and that the requests could take up to eight weeks. I was talking to my roommate, Jess Walsh, about my frustrations and she suggested that I draft a letter on Edison Neighborhood Association letterhead and get Tom and Pat and maybe ever Terry to sign it. I think that was a really good suggestion, because by myself I really have no credibility so I can see why companies would be wary of agreeing to donations without any proof that I am representing a non-profit organization.
The last rather frustration part of the week was Tom canceling our meeting where we were going to form an agenda for our first meeting. He told us he would e-mail us if he couldn’t make the meeting, but no one had received anything from him yet. About an hour before we were supposed to meet, I tried to call Sam to remind her about the meeting and set up another time to go door-knocking. I accidentally dialed Tom’s number instead and after I realized I was not in fact talking to Sam, he told me that he would have to cancel the meeting. He was very apologetic and I completely understand that he has a really busy schedule, too. I just wish he had let us know a little earlier. I don’t know when he would have told us if I hadn’t misdialed Sam’s phone number and reached him, instead.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
my brother is amazing
check out this front page article in the Living section of the Oregonian on the underground newspaper my brother started after being fired as editor of his high-school newspaper :)
http://www.oregonlive.com/living/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/living/1113300166252820.xml
http://www.oregonlive.com/living/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/living/1113300166252820.xml
