some explanation:

I worked all by myself today and it was pretty invigorating to realize that I was actually capable of getting everything done. We have several medical cases that need treatment at the science center and all the warm marine fish needed a serious water change. I woke up feeling very overwhelmed by all the stuff I had to get done today, especially since I wasn't going to get any help, but in the end I just felt much more empowered as I kept crossing things off my to-do list.
My mom came to visit me this evening and we went for a long walk on the beach before eating dinner at this very cool, hippie place where everything (including the kitchen) is outside and there is a playground of old ropes and barrels for kids and they have live music in the form of an old man playing a song on the guitar every now and then. I walked barefoot on the way to the beach and on the sand and now my feet are really sore from all the gravel on the way there :(

ready for a long one...

Early one Monday morning, almost four weeks ago now, I moved into my apartment for the summer, and the next evening I evacuated along with everyone else living at Hatfield thanks to a tsunami warning. There are so many tsunami evacuation route signs in Newport that you can’t actually tell where they are telling you to go so my roommates and I decided to drive to Toledo, a tiny town 7 miles inland, and hang out at a dairy queen until the warning passed. Apparently, everyone else who didn’t know much about tsunamis had the same idea. Unfortunately, the dairy queen is the only place that sells food in Toledo, and it was closed. So a good portion of the population of Newport would pull into the Dairy Queen parking lot, pull on the door, realize it was closed and go back and sit in their cars; luring more people to the ice cream shop. Turns out the assigned evacuation route for Hatfield is actually about 100 yards inland at a ‘point’ aka the parking lot of a local hotel. Well, I guess I will know for next time. In the mean time, my mom has completely freaked out about me being washed to sea in a tsunami. Now I realize that I am hard to reach at the coast—up until two days ago I had no phone and now my phone has no answering machine and I am rarely home to answer it (let alone update my blog ;)—but it is much more likely that since Newport decided not to purchase tsunami warning sirens I will be walking on the beach completely unaware of the impending wave. Personally, I would rather die naive watching the sunset on the rocky shore than pedaling as fast as I can on my bicycle down the highway that parallels the coast.
Alright, back to my internship :) I struggled for a long time this school year with the decision of whether or not to return to Hatfield this summer. I finally decided that out of all my other options, it offered the best opportunity to experience first-hand aquatic research and veterinary medicine. However, I questioned that decision a lot the first couple of weeks because sometimes it seems like an easy way out of the tumultuous beginnings of experiencing something completely new.

About that blond-haired best friend…

I have this best friend who used to be my roommate. We should have been roommates this year, but I decided to live in an on-campus house and she decided to be an RA; a mistake for both of us. She is the most amazing person I have ever met. She generously mentors elementary kids while at school and is so committed to it that her mentees come before her schoolwork sometimes :). We play music together and I always feel so much more comfortable playing the piano when I can hear her cello next to me. But possibly my favorite thing to do with her is going on really long walks around town late at night. We just talk and walk and completely lose track of time: once, I think we walked for over four hours. I had to say goodbye to her yesterday knowing that it would be the last time I saw her for almost a year since we are both studying abroad in different countries next year. I am going to miss her so much.
Saying godbye to her made yesterday even worse. It was over 90 degrees in Kalamazoo and very humid. I had to pack all my stuff and fit it into a very small locker on campus. Then I had to say goodbye to people who have really become my family. While I am certainly excited to see my 'real' family again and spend time with my mom and brother and dog, we have a completely different relationship now that I spend over half the year away. It is really my friends at school who are my support system when life becomes overwhelming. I don't know what I am going to do without them.

It's officially summer!!!

I just finished my last exam for the quarter...cell biology (yuk). Actually, it was the best cell exam I have ever taken. I knew all the pathways and all the definitions and could answer all the questions with sufficient wordiness to finally please (I hope) my human-focused professor (it helped that I actually studied for this one, if only for a few hours). Anyway, now I get to eat pizza and drink beer and listen to a lecture about sea turtles from the chair of the bio department then go bowling with the chem department and finally, one last building blocks celelbration. I guess somewhere in there I will pack :)
Keep an eye out on the news because thanks to my awesome classes this year I am smuggling a live fish and a preserved shark embryo on the plane with me. I have come up with some elaborate plans to avoid capture, ranging from swallowing the fish in a plastic bag to storing him in my water bottle (the latter seems slightly more palatable), but hopefully he will arrive home safely. Mom: don't forget to have a tank waiting for him with 24-hour old water :) I almost conned my professor into giving me a chick to take home that I could raise into a chicken, but once he found out it would have to fly with me to Oregon, he refused. Dang it.

In the midst of final exams...

I'm sorry it has been so long since I've last written.

I've had a lot of time for introspection (having changed my major to phys-ed), and I've decided to make a few major life changes. First of all, no more introspection. That's for tree-hugging, barefooted hippies.

Second of all, I have modified my diet. I now only eat heavily processed, chemical-laden foods; I try to stick primarily to rare meat. I feel this is the way to best exert my authority as Lord of the animal domain. (yes I have "readjusted" some of my religious views). My new diet motto, “If it has a face, sear it lightly and serve with ketchup.”


Third of all, I have changed my political affiliation. I have joined the Republican party, though I feel some of their stances are a little too moderate for me. I think that we should spend more on strengthening our military. In particular, I don't think the "nuclear option" should just apply to ending filibusters. I think we should use it to destroy all the countries that harbor people that don't agree with me. Fall-out shmalout.

While I'm at it, there's not nearly enough evidence to support the claims of the so-called "Greenhouse Effect." I've decided to buy a Hummer (I know I don't have much cash, but don't worry, I took out a loan). I think its gas mileage is just perfect. Plus, all the money I give to the oil industry will be used for the good of our economy.

Finally, I have dropped out of school. I have learned that a women learns everything she needs from her father and husband. An education is a waste of money. I devote myself to finding myself a respectable marriage rather than getting a useless education.

You're either with me or against me. Let me know.

building blocks, third week

Ahh, the joys of sociology....

On Tuesday, we were finally able to meet with Tom to discuss the agenda for our first meeting. After Monday’s class, Sarah, Sam and I were feeling a little concerned that we had not yet met officially with our residents. Adding to that concern was the fact that we hadn’t met with Tom for over a week, and had no idea what would be happening at the meeting. I typed up a rough draft of an agenda for the meeting before we met Tom and it turned out that Tom had made his own agenda. We spent a long time compromising between the two and figuring out in what order we would discuss each topic we wanted to cover. Tom was keen on Sarah, Sam, and I running the majority of the meeting, so in the end Tom only talked about his job as a supervisor and then explained an outcome based model to organizing a project.
We arrived at the ENA with great anxiety the evening of our meeting. Before we had arrived, Greg had stopped by and explained to Tom that although he would not be able to attend the meeting this week, he was still interested in participating. Someone in his family (we haven’t figured out who, yet) died recently, so Tom gave him the forms we were handing out at the meeting and explained what would be going on. Many people had informed us that they would attend the meeting, but we really didn’t know what to expect. My heart jumped when I saw Amy and John approaching the door. I wasn’t sure if they would end up coming because Amy works so much. I know they had to sacrifice a lot to make the meeting. Soon more families began to arrive, many with their kids, (Sarah saved the day by convincing her friend to baby-sit) and it still wasn’t seven yet. Talking with the families who came, most of them had canceled prior engagements to come to the meeting. It was encouraging that they were already so interested in the program. At 7pm, we had 16 families and the room was packed. We started the meeting by playing a variation of a game we heard about in class on Monday. Before the meeting, we laid masking tape on the floor of the ENA, creating a smaller version of Bellaire Street. We then had all the families line up in the order their homes appeared on the street and introduce themselves, the house they lived in, and one defining characteristic of their home. Finally, Sarah, Sam, Tom, and I reintroduced ourselves, jumping into corners of the room to represent the different corners of the country we come from. It seemed to work, neighbors had to talk to each other a lot to figure out in what order to line up, especially because their were some gaps from households that did not attend the meeting. After everyone sat down again, we passed around cookies and donuts and served drinks. As soon as the food appeared, the room became much louder. Food has amazing powers!
I was in the middle of laying the ground-rules for the meeting (keeping to the agenda, not complaining about neighborhood problems yet, etc) and discussing the purpose of building blocks when Sue’s family and José showed up. I was so excited to see José (who does not speak a lot of English) because I had translated our forms into Spanish for him and the other Hispanic families in the hopes that they would come. He was having trouble understanding everything that was going on in the meeting, so I sat with him and translated things he didn’t understand throughout the rest of the meeting. It was a very interesting experience because I felt removed from the rest of the room, as if José and I were having our own conversation apart from the rest of the meeting. A couple of times when I returned to the front of the room to talk about another topic on the agenda, I had to work really hard to speak in English. I wanted to slip into Spanish. After the meeting, José and I were talking and he asked me if building blocks could help him fix his . I couldn’t understand what he wanted to know if we could fix, so I kept asking him to explain it. It turns out, he was talking about his heater but he was saying ‘heater’ in English and because I was in Spanish mode, I could not figure out what he was trying to say. It took him translating ‘heater’ back into Spanish before I understood what was going on. I told him that we only work on exterior home improvements, and he asked if there were any organizations in town that could help him find the money to buy a new heater. Apparently, his heater doesn’t work at all and he had to survive the entire winter without any heat. It sounds like he needs the whole heating system replaced because his heater, from what I understood, pumps hot water in pipes around the house to raise the temperature. I told him I would look into places that might be able to help him, but I am not really sure where to begin. I am going to go back and visit him and help him fill out the homework we handed out at the meeting.
Although our meeting ended fairly promptly at 8:10, more people than José lingered far longer into the evening. Jane and Sue and Margaret and their families all stayed for over an hour chatting with Tom, Sam, Sarah, and I. Several of them would like help filling out their project estimate forms, and Sarah, Sam and I were more than willing to help them, but Tom suggested that we not so that they won’t rely on us as much. I understand what he is saying, but I think that many of them feel overwhelmed by the ‘homework’ they have to complete, and not all of it is very clear. I think they also are convinced that the stakes are very high: that if they fill out something incorrectly they will be considered ineligible for the program. When Sam visited Miriam on Saturday, she helped her fill out her forms and when I went to talk with Miriam on Sunday, she was immensely appreciative of Sam’s effort because she didn’t know where to begin. She said that it didn’t feel like Sam was doing the work for her, but rather that she was helping her make sense of it all and feel more confident in what she was putting down. I have this gut feeling that many of the other residents are feeling the same way and that we will lose them if we don’t give them any support. So Sarah and I are going to return to the neighborhood Tuesday morning and afternoon to see how things are going.
Sarah and I were planning on visiting with the residents on Sunday afternoon, bringing them cookies and asking how things were going since the meeting. Unfortunately, Sarah had an emergency where she had to go to Chicago and could no longer visit Bellaire Street with me. I was a little hesitant about going by myself for a while. Sarah and I work really well together and I thought that maybe her not being able to come was a sign that I should use the time to study for my cell biology exam on Monday and finish my vertebrate biology homework. I had almost convinced myself not to go when I remembered how wonderful it felt to have so many people come to our meeting. I think a large part of why they all came had to do with our efforts door-knocking and I didn’t want to leave them without any support until Tuesday. So, I stuffed cookies in my bike bag and headed toward Edison. I had four hours until my SI session so I figured I would be able to check in with most of the residents. I especially wanted to talk with the few families that weren’t able to come to the meeting to see what happened.
I thought it would be no different being in the neighborhood by myself, but the truth is that when I got there, I was really nervous. I walked up and down Reed Court, a street perpendicular to Bellaire Street, before I got the courage to knock on the first door. I talked with Tomin and Joe first. They are a Caucasian middle-aged couple who live in the house closest to the creek. Sam talked with them previously, but I had never met them. They explained that they had every intention of coming to the meeting, but that they lost track of time and at 7:30 realized they were supposed to be at the meeting. They promised they would come to the one this week and I made arrangements to drop off the forms they would need early Tuesday morning. I was feeling a little more confident after talking with them. Next, I knocked on Miriam’s door. Miriam also has a good relationship with Sam already, so I had to remind her who I was. She immediately invited me in to her home to chat, exclaiming what a wonderful visit she had with Sam the day before. I walked in, expecting to be there for no more than a few minutes, when she asked me if I would like a cup of tea. I said sure and we sat at her kitchen table with Raggedy Ann mugs of white tea and my cookies and began to talk. The first thing she told me about was her cat, Freckles, because I noticed the cat food in her kitchen. Freckles is eleven years old and hates it when Miriam reads the newspaper because she has to take a break from petting him. He is orange and white with black spots on his nose, but didn’t appear until right before I had to leave. Miriam was very impressed because usually he never comes out to meet visitors. Apparently, Miriam started keeping cats because her daughter liked them as a child, but Miriam is much more partial to dogs. Nevertheless, she sustains a small pack of neighborhood cats by leaving food out for them on the back porch. We had a lengthy discussion about the travesty of stray cats and dogs and whether it is better to feed them or let them starve. I asked her a little more about her daughter. She is 50 and lives in Lansing. She has been married twice, something that Miriam seems conflicted about: although because of her religious background, she thinks that people should stay together, she is impressed that her daughter had enough courage to survive on her own. Her daughter is an artist who draws beautiful pictures, mainly of science fiction characters (she showed me lots of photos of the artwork). She also has a son, who had two children. Her granddaughter is a freshman at a college in Wisconsin and wanted to be a marine biologist until she failed freshman biology. Her grandson goes to college part time and is engaged to a pre-veterinary student at MSU. Miriam’s son’s family comes to visit her each Christmas, which is one of her favorite times of year. Miriam didn’t have a very good relationship with her husband. They had very different interests and priorities, but they “stuck together because they didn’t have any other choice”. She almost seemed jealous of her daughter’s ability to leave her husbands. Miriam’s husband was an architectural draftsman who worked a consulting firm in Kalamazoo. Their favorite thing to do was take road trips around the country. Miriam told me of one trip when they were stuck at a national park in the Appalacian mountains and had to take everything out of their station wagon and sleep in the car, which Miriam described as “a coffin that smelled like burlap”. (They had to keep burlap in the windows so their cat wouldn’t escape).
Miriam has lived in her home on Bellaire Street since she was 19 years old (that was 60 years ago). And although she never thought she would stay in one place for so long, she couldn’t dream of leaving her home now, even though her son and daughter are pressuring her to buy an apartment. Her home was recently the victim of an attempted break-in, which concerned her a lot. Freckles helps her to be brave, though. She spends a lot of time with her sister, who lives in Kalamazoo and is also a widow, and in her spare time she really likes to read mysteries. Not scary mysteries, though. She likes Agatha Christy because she remains separated from the story line. When she was explaining how scared she gets, she exclaimed, “I’m 79 years old and I still can’t watch Bambi, for God’s sake!”
When Miriam was pointing out another drawing by her daughter, I happened to see the clock on her wall. I had been talking with her for over three hours and had completely missed the SI session I was supposed to run that evening. I eventually found a way to excuse myself, telling her that I had to run to a meeting. I still don’t know where the time went. I got back to my room just as the sun was setting. I hadn’t accomplished anything that I had originally set out to do, but I felt like my visit to Edison was fruitful nonetheless. I had to quickly send out an e-mail to my chemistry class with the SI worksheet and an apology for missing the session. Fortunately, they were very understanding today in class. Upon reflecting on my visit with Miriam, I became concerned that Sam would be worried that I was competing for her unique relationship with Miriam. So, I sent her an e-mail as well, explaining what I accomplished (and what I didn’t) in the neighborhood and I hope when I talk with her tonight she will be okay with that.

breaking up is hard to do...

On Saturday night, I broke up with my 'boyfriend' of a few months. I had been being very unfair to him because I am so busy I never had any time to hang out with him. And school was definitely my top priority, then work, then supporting some of my closest friends and then if I had free time I would hang out with him. It must have been pretty frustrating for him. He would stop by and I couldn't even stop typing my essay that would be due the next day because I literally get up at 5am and start studying and preparing for the day, then finally stop studying around 11pm and read for an hour before I go to sleep. I wasn't in love with him, either. He was very romantic, but it got quite annoying after a while. I guess my mom has ruined me for all that stuff :) I hate it when guys hold the door open for me and make me go in before me. And in a strange twist, I have discovered that I don't really like being told that I am beautiful because that is not who I want to be. I want to be seen as an intelligent, passionate person who is concerned about other people, not her looks. Anyway, despite all this, it is still difficult to break up with someone. On the upside, we had one of the most fruitful discussions ever afterwards.